By John Carlson
Life is filled with change and uncertainty. You have a profound influence on how your child will adapt and adjust to life’s unknowns. Modeling a mindset that disequilibrium equals growth can be powerfully influential on your child’s development.
Our children need hard experiences, like switching schools, to build healthy adaptation and adjustment habits. Doing so under your watchful assurance is key. By being extra presently supportive for your child, both prior to and in the weeks following your child’s new experience, you can create a safe space for your child to express their thoughts and feelings about both their new and old school experience. Be sure to find ways for your family to uniquely celebrate this upcoming school change. Take time to transport yourselves to the school to take a tour and walk the halls together during these last days of summer. Then grab lunch, a snack, or spend some time together doing an activity your child finds fun.
During your time together, listen intently to your child’s responses as you ask open-ended questions about the new school year. Be ready to hear fear and anxiety in your child’s responses. That is normal and there is no need to react or try to quell your child’s feelings. Just listen, actively.
Keep being available to your child, both physically and emotionally. Remember it will take at least four to six weeks of exciting and equally rocky times before the novel situations faced by your child begin to be mastered and diminish. Finally, if your interactions with your child are not going as you might expect, be sure to take time to read up on the definition of reflective listening and the concept of following your child’s lead.
Similar to working on building and strengthening the muscles in our body, your child’s adaptation to new situations muscle needs regular new experiences to thrive. Working out this mind muscle through embracing life’s challenges, together, will ultimately prepare and ready your child for that next bigger change they will face as they leave the safe and cozy nest you have provided.”