By Karlee Garcia, SAA 2020
Throughout this past year I have been using the phrase “thisis why we talk to people” fairly often. I hope that in sharing a little bitabout my story, and acknowledging the current context with COVID-19 that we arein, this phrase will resonate with each reader as well.
I came to MSU for grad school right after graduating fromundergrad at UCSD. Literally, within two months I had moved across the country(more or less) for more school. I was excited, but if we are being honest, Iwas entering in only half-energized, and still drained. It was a lot of change:new state, new school, new rigor, new people. Instead of embracing it all, Idecided I would just get through the two years of grad school and call it good.In my mind, I didn’t need a bunch of new friends, so I did not focus my time orenergy on that during my first semester. I did my best to power through mystudies and work on my own. However, I soon realized this would not besustainable for me throughout grad school, so I made some changes after WinterBreak.
Second semester I started reaching out to people I workedwith at Office for International Students and Scholars. I built friendships therethat I still check in on. Work became a fun space for me to come to and enjoy.I felt more comfortable.
I started talking more with members of my cohort, andlearned I was not alone in the ways I had been feeling all of the previoussemester. I felt understood.
I opened up to my family and partner about the challenges Iwas feeling and dealing with. I felt heard.
I started talking with a therapist. It’s amazing howrelieving it is to talk about the things holding you down or that areoverwhelming your mind. I felt a sense of freedom in the heaviness I feltsurrounded by. (Side note: 10/10 recommend a therapist for life if you areable).
During my second year I had a new assistantship with UniversityActivities Board. This is probably where I have actually said the phrase “thisis why we talk to people” out loud the most. When I needed opinions, advice, ordirection, I would turn to my fellow advising team (shoutout to Brian andMargaret) and have a chat with them. Every time, I walked away so excited aboutwhat we talked about. Our talks led to creativity and understanding, but alsoprovided me with affirmation and appreciation for where I was at.
Other times, I’d say the phrase in response to working withstudents. As much as I’d like to say I was helpful as an advisor, I learned somuch from them and their attitudes towards work and life. They are vibrant andso willing to try new things. My students have been incredible (please see theprevious blog by Margaret for proof), and my talks with them would leave mefeeling grateful, inspired, and challenged.
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I often wonder what my first year of grad school would havelooked like if I had opened myself up more and talked with people around mesooner. Would life have been more bearable? Would I have a different outlook onMichigan? Who’s to say. But, I can say that when I did open myself up and starttalking to people it created a whole new world and experience of grad schoolfor me.
In the end, we talk to people because we need people; weneed community. We are social beings. We have emotions, and we desireconnection with those around us. So, whether you are in grad school, or workingthrough this weird time of isolation from COVID-19, I urge you to remember thewords of Brene Brown: social distancing does not mean social disconnection. Rememberyour community. Reach out to people and talk with them. Show love andcompassion, and share hurt or hardship. You never know what a conversationcould do for you or for the person you’re talking with – it could belife-changing. I know those of us in education (students and staff) could usesomeone to talk to during this time, and would appreciate it at the very least.
Community makes a difference. This is why we talk to people.
